I have been notably absent in the last couple of weeks and I have felt like the Holidays were canceled this year. Trying to pack up and downsize in just a few weeks all while the Holidays are suddenly upon me and my youngest daughters are back here.
The result of all this is a lot of stress and guilt and the feeling that i am not a great mother. NON of these feeling are necessary or helpful and definitely not the real truth of the situation. BUT this is what we do to ourselves. It’s those thoughts that we allow to grow until they seem to take on a life – and a truth- of their own.
We have that perfect vision of what the Holidays are supposed to be, and I am not immune. However, I was lucky enough to have a conversation with my 21 year old daughter yesterday that set me back into the correct mindset and shook me out of the spiral that I was starting to go in to.
The real fact is that every year is a new adventure and it really is what you decide to make of it. Turns out that my girls really are fine with no decorations this year. They understand that I haven’t spent 2 days cooking…”Mom, we’d rather get Chinese takeout anyway”. I will be packed up and moved in in less than 2 weeks regardless and life will move on. Next Christmas will be different again and I have no idea what that will look like.
So, however you are spending the Holidays this year – Hannukah, Christmas – I wish for you that you can look around and find the joy in what is happening and what or who you have around you. There is no supposed to be. There is What Is. I also hope that if you don’t have daughter around whose going to give you a talking to to put you back on track, that I have been able to do that for you.
Sending you light and love from my scattered, imperfect and chaotic family to you and yours.