When I was a teacher of young children, one of the biggest days of the school year was Mother’s Day. There were cards to make, poems to write, songs to learn, gifts to put together. Then of course there was the special Mother’s Day Tea events that working mothers had to carve out time for. So much lead up and excitement built up over a week or so. The problem was that sometimes there was a child who had no mother.So what to do? We couldn’t pretend it didn’t exist, story books had to be vetted and language had to be altered – we would add “and special friends day” on to the end. Then we would work with the family to make sure that that child had a special friend available for the Tea.
You may now be wondering what is the point of my rambling here. What does this have to do with anything?
When I was thinking about the Big Holiday that is about to hit us this February (Yes, Valentine’s Day is looming), it occurred to me that all of these super fun Holidays that we celebrate throughout the year have people that can feel left out. In the case of Valentine’s Day, if you are single, maybe your version of enjoying the day is to stay in bed watching Netflix and eating junk. Maybe you are the one feeling that everyone has cause to celebrate but you. However, we can be the people that take the time for ourselves to make sure that we don’t feel “Left Out”. Make yourself your Special Friend for the day! It’s all the way you choose to look at it.
Don’t isolate yourself pretending that you can ignore all the store displays and ads on TV. Instead, find a single friend who is also feeling a little left out and make a special plan with her. It doesn’t have to be on the 14th. If you don’t want to- a day on either side is just as great. There are also all kinds of ways that you could pamper yourself . In fact I recommend making it a whole weekend of full on self care. Yoga, massage, bubble baths…whatever it is you like to do to relax that isn’t in your regular realm. I can write a list of 50 best things to pamper yourself, but you know what you like to do.
The important thing to do here is not to pamper yourself because you are feeling sorry for yourself that you aren’t in a relationship. News flash, there are lots of people who aren’t in a relationship on Valentine’s Day and find it equally as annoying. You are going to celebrate yourself on this day because this Holiday is about love and the MOST important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself. By doing lovely things for yourself, you will be reinforcing that you are worthy of the time, investment and energy it takes to focus on doing something good for you. This Holiday just gives you the push to do it.
Take time out to remember all that you have accomplished since this time last year. What challenges have you blasted through? Did you start a healthier weight program? Have you exercised more? Did you do something great at work? Next, you can look at what you would like to do to for yourself. Something that you have been thinking about but kept putting off for some reason. Maybe it’s a better morning routine, starting to meditate, learning a new language, taking art lessons. Whatever it is, take this time to love yourself enough to commit to figuring out how you are going to do that, set a start date and make a plan to make it happen.
Self love and confidence is not only vital to being able to enjoy life to the fullest, but it will carry you through any challenges, whether at work or in your personal life. It is also the very foundation to having a successful relationship with someone else.
Feeling confident about yourself, knowing your worth and believing in how intelligent you are is incredibly sexy. Now that is a message to send out into the world this Valentine’s Day!